2026-09-11 21:15 UTC · Community Announcements · OrgInc
🧪 Update 1.3.9 — Side Effects May Include Being On Fire The kitchen fights back. This update adds five new status effects, a meatball that shows every bite you take, and a bell that ends the hunt for the last few enemies in each wave. It also carries an apology to everyone whose co-op night ended at the first boss. 🚑 First, The Co-op Crash 💥 1.3.8 crashed every co-op game the moment a boss or mini-boss spawned. It took down the host and every guest, every time. Single-player was never affected, which is exactly how it got past us. 🔧 Fixed. The boss was counting heads at the table a split s
2026-09-05 11:07 UTC · Community Announcements · OrgInc
🧾 Economy 1.3.8 — Nonna Has Seen The Books You told us you could buy the whole shelf. You were right — you could, at every single cart in the game. So we audited every coin the game hands out, found the faucet nobody knew was open, and halved the economy properly. 💰 Gold Is Halved 🪙 A full campaign paid out roughly 19,200 gold. It now pays about 9,600. Same enemies, same items, same drop rates — none of those were touched. Only the money. 🛒 What that means at the cart: at your first shop you can afford about one of the four things on the shelf, where before you could comfortably take all f
2026-09-05 10:06 UTC · Community Announcements · OrgInc
🔪 Bug Fixes 1.3.7 — The Prep Cook Was Not On The Menu A boss who kept turning up 40 seconds into a fresh run, a minigun upgrade that cost nothing, and two different reasons your frame rate was hitching. All caught, all measured, all fixed. 🔪 The Level 1 Ambush 😰 THE PREP COOK was gatecrashing wave 1 of level 1 — a full boss, at full health, while you were still holding a Pea Shooter. Unwinnable, and it happened roughly half the time. 🏟️ The culprit: peeking at Boss Rush and backing out left the mode armed. Pressing PLAY afterwards ran your "normal" campaign as a Boss Rush — where wave 1 is
2026-09-05 08:22 UTC · Community Announcements · OrgInc
Hopefully a major performance bump with this one. Moved some animations to the shared per frame renderer and it seems a lot smoother L8+
2026-09-04 15:38 UTC · Community Announcements · OrgInc
🍳 Sizzle, Streak & Sauce — Update 1.3.5 🍝 Chefs! This one is all about feel — reading the pan, riding the streak, and never losing your meatball under the UI again. Straight from your feedback, straight into the sauce. 🧑🍳 🔫 Combat & Feel ⚡ Beam weapons reworked — beams now build heat and overheat like a reload, with a proper soft sizzle sound instead of the old drone. Manage the heat, melt the horde. 🎯 Reload ring on your meatball — the active-reload bar now draws right above your meatball, so you can nail the perfect reload without looking away from the fight. 🎬 No more constant grey
2026-09-01 20:05 UTC · Community Announcements · OrgInc
🎺 Update 1.3.4 — Face the Music Every boss in this game has spent a year fighting to a borrowed tune. Not any more. Also: an honest confession about the Additives, and a Knowledge screen that finally knows things. 🎼 Seventeen Bosses. Seventeen Themes. 🎻 Every single boss now has its own music — all seventeen of them, composed one at a time. Mains, alts, the event bosses and the one you're not supposed to have met yet. 💃 La Nonna and the Necro Chef fight in 3/4 — they get waltzes. The Pizzaiolo throws dough in 6/8. 🏃 The Meatrix speeds up as you break him (96 → 174 BPM), and Il Critico's t
2026-08-28 20:27 UTC · Community Announcements · OrgInc
🍝 Update 1.3.3 — Table Talk A generous helping between the big ones: talk to your table, earn your knife-marks, and get fitted by a very serious tailor. Grazie for every report and suggestion — most of this list started as one. 💬 Say Something (Co-op) 🎭 Emote wheel — hold T (or click the right stick) for a six-slice radial: CIAO! · AH AH! · GRAZIE ♥ · GG! · MAMMA MIA… · GRR! Aim with mouse or stick, release to send. Your meatball pulls the face to match, and everyone at the table sees it. 📍 Pings — tap V (middle-mouse / L3) to drop a gold LOOT HERE marker where you're aiming, or hold it to
2026-08-26 12:44 UTC · Community Announcements · OrgInc
🔧 Patch 1.3.2 A quick-fire fix round. You reported, we cooked. Grazie for the bug reports — keep them coming. 🩹 The Big One First 🧊 Fixed the freeze at the start of a run (and the stray story text box over the death screen). If 1.3.0 left you stuck on wave 1 unable to move — deepest apologies, it's gone. 🎮 Controllers 🕹️ Fixed the big one: if your controller wasn't in the first slot (second pad, Steam's virtual controller, a Bluetooth reconnect), the menus ignored A and every button could go dead while the stick kept working. All bindings now listen to every controller. 🔙 B now backs you
2026-08-26 08:29 UTC · Community Announcements · OrgInc
🍝 The Full Menu — Update 1.3.0The biggest update MEATBALLS has ever had. Everything we've been cooking since launch, served on one plate — and every bit of it is us pushing hard toward the FULL RELEASE of the game, coming soon. All free. No microtransactions. Just more game. Ciao, polpette! 👋 Since launch the kitchen has not closed. Grab a fork — here's what's new: 🎫 Order Up! — Ticket Runs 🧾 40 Order Tickets — optional run goals you pin before a run ("win with only melee", "never repair", …) with rewards paid on the spot 📋 A live ticket rail on the HUD and an "ON THE RAIL" card on pause
2026-08-22 20:00 UTC · Community Announcements · OrgInc
🛡️ Guard Up — Update 1.2.16 You can block now. And if your timing is good, you can throw the hit straight back. 1.2.16 gives every meatball an active defence, opens a Hall of Deaths that tallies what's killing you — and everyone else on Steam — rebuilds the front door from the ground up, and ships every fix from the first Kitchen playtest. Grab your lid. 🛡️ NEW — Block & Parry Hold Right Mouse / Left Trigger to guard. Blocking always leaks — you take less damage, never none. 5% base reduction, items push it toward a 50% cap. Guarding costs you: 65% move speed and a guard stamina bar (about 3
2026-08-22 09:27 UTC · Community Announcements · OrgInc
Fixed an error on melee attacks causing a crash.
2026-08-21 17:47 UTC · Community Announcements · OrgInc
THE KITCHEN UPDATE You can cook your own meatball now. Head into The Kitchen from character select and mix, grind, pan-fry and plate one yourself. Get the fat ratio right, pick your spices, don't burn it — what comes out is a fully playable character you can take straight into a run. Burn it and, well. That one's on you. The big rebalance Some of you spotted that you went basically unkillable around level 4 or 5. You were right — and it was worse under the hood than it looked. Incoming damage was capped flat while your healing scaled forever. Damage now scales with how many things are actually
2026-08-20 17:07 UTC · Community Announcements · OrgInc
Added 5 new enemies Fixed golden meatballs spans Reworked orbiting olives weapon Fixed achievement wording Added new melee weapon Added new punch hell matrix
2026-08-19 19:29 UTC · Community Announcements · OrgInc
✨ NEW FEATURES 👑 Bosses Reworked Top to Bottom The boss roster has had a major gameplay pass so each fight now has a stronger identity, better telegraphs, clearer punish windows, and much more memorable phase flow instead of just feeling like a bigger stat check. Prep Cook now teaches lane reads with cutting-board rush telegraphs and punish windows after missed charges The Butcher leans harder into hook-and-grinder pressure with nastier arena control Ol' Sizzler turns heat, oil placement and ignition timing into part of the fight Blinkwurst is more deliberate and readable, with planned mobili
2026-08-18 19:13 UTC · Community Announcements · OrgInc
Bug Fixes Fixed pressing escape issue Fixed Menu controller issues Fixed cursor still showing on controller Fixed end screen Fixed gold update on the shop Fixed saving now mentions it only saves to the start of the level Fixed minimap inproved
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